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Putting Around the Office
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by Jay Groce
www.writejaywrite.com
I hate living in Colorado. Oh sure, it’s beautiful, the sky as blue as my Whippet, the snow covered mountains as white and soft as my Magnet, and sunsets orange and purple, like my two X Clones. But that’s the problem. Unless I take a sick day, I have to work. I stare out my window all day long, enchanted by the call of the outdoors. I can hear my beloved home course; it’s voice floating gently on the breeze, “come play.” There are days, if I listen closely, I can even hear, from the distant hills, the course in Breckenridge calling my name. I’ve tried to break the spell. I ’ve closed the blinds, moved desks, I’ve even tried working. But still I daydream, “the crowd’s going wild, Jay Groce just sank an eighty-footer.” There have been days I thought I would go crazy!
Recently, however, my sanity was saved. I ordered some disks through the mail, and the good people threw in some mini-disks. I had them delivered to work, and my co-workers thought the minis were cool. Of course I took the opportunity to demonstrate the sport of disc golf, and my mastery of said sport. Whilst my co-workers and I were hurling discs at each other full force, I had a revelation. From my desk to the copy machine there was a perfect dogleg left, with the file cabinets as out of bounds, and a table hazard. The first office hole was born. Soon I had designed nine holes that, although short, were challenging. For those of you who only miss a day on the course if you’re on the ski slope, I hate you. It is for the rest of you that I offer these tips on designing your very own office disc golf course.
Rule number one is, don’t play while the boss is in. It’s just bad etiquette, and (s) he may begin to question your sanity. “What are you doing Johnson? Are you crazy?” If you’re the boss, then you should embrace this as a morale booster, and champion the cause to raise money to build a real course on another manager’s floor. (When it dies a miserable death in committee, you’ll still look good, and no one’s worse for trying.) Rule number two. If you have a window with a great view, start your course there. However, if that’s where you keep highly sensitive office equipment, or your boss, you’ll have to re-think that. If you don ’t have a window with a great view, maybe you need a new job.
The best starting holes will have a low to mid difficulty, to warm you up, and to encourage beginners to get on the course. Something to keep in mind when designing all of your holes: minis don’t fly very straight. If you make your fairway too narrow, you may have more strokes in office disc golf than you do on a real course. Which leads me to rule three: Don’t make your fairways too narrow. Also, almost everything in the environment should be a playable lie, including but not limited to fax machines, copy machines, innocent bystanders, and other people’s desks (you’ll want people to avoid your desk.) I recently landed between my desk and the wall. It took me five minutes to move the desk and retrieve my disk, but I figure that was a playable lie, because it was snowing outside, which is automatic winter rules.
To be consistent, a spot or stain on the carpet should mark the “tee box”. If you have fairly new carpet, coke, coffee, or pizza will make a nice stain, or you can mark the spot with a small piece of paper. Trashcans are hands down the absolute best baskets. Unless you have some real slobs in your office that don’t ever empty their trash, and they have yesterdays coffee grinds, and gum, and half of their tuna sandwich in there. Then maybe you should design an object course so your disks don’t have to go into anything. As far as disk markers, you can use a quarter, or a piece of gum (which could later serve as a tee box.), but you don’t really need a marker. The likelihood that any two minis will take the same trajectory, or land in the same place is about a million to one. So it’s doubtful your disk will hinder anyone’s next shot.
I try to make it a rule, rule four if you’re counting, that you can’t see the basket from the tee box. That puts some danger into the game. I do advise against throwing around corners unless you know where everyone in the office is. One of my co-workers has explained to me very loudly and not in a friendly voice that although they look harmless, minis can certainly frighten you, and maybe even kill you or put an eye out or something, you never know. So if you have any spoilsports in your office, make sure they know your coming through. I like to yell “Hey Linda, duck, Ha-Ha-Ha”, but you can work out your own warning system. And speaking of warning systems, there is nothing worse than the office door opening and the boss walking in while your disk is in the air. Especially if your throwing at the basket in front of the door from fifty feet out. Which is the fifth and final rule: have a lookout. Like when you were a kid and you would have your younger brother stand by the window in the living room to warn you when your parents came home because you were… well it doesn’t matter what you were doing, my point is, you need a lookout. But, make sure this person is on your side, and they’re not trying to get you fired. It’s best if the person is your younger brother, but I realize this isn’t always possible.
The most important tip is, have fun. This is a great way to introduce the sport to all the old folks you work with, and it’s a great way to pass the lunch hour(s). Remember, you can always get a new job, but you can never get another today. Carpe diem.
Jay Groce
www.writejaywrite.com
This Article is brought to you by Everything Disc Golf. The Disc Golf and Ultimate Frisbee Super Store!
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Disc Golf (also known as "Frisbee Golf" and "Folf" or "Frolf" and even "Disk Golf") is played much like traditional golf. Players throw flying discs (golf discs or Frisbees®) from a tee area toward a Disc Golf Basket or Target. The object: complete the hole by putting your golf disc in the basket in the fewest number of throws. Formalized in the 1970s, disc golf is governed by the Professional Disc Golf Association (PDGA). There are more than 1,750 disc golf courses worldwide, with over 1,400 in the USA. |
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